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Thread: Daily Jokes

  1. #1
    Club Administrator
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    Post your Daily Jokes up here to your hearts content - but keep it work safe please
    Last edited by SpamPanther; 23-10-2008 at 01:54 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Timmy's funnies!

    Seeing as you guys are liking my funny work emails i will start a thread up so i am not cluttering up the forus with hundreds of different jokes threads. Please input some of your own also!!

  3. #3
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    >>Ugly Bus
    >>
    >>A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and
    >>everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and
    >>because of
    >>the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish
    >>each,
    >>before they enter Paradise.
    >>
    >>They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.
    >>"I
    >>want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
    >>
    >>The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous
    >>too."
    >>
    >>Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
    >>This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the
    >>last
    >>guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left,
    >>this
    >>guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
    >>Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
    >>
    >>The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

    >>

  4. #4
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    A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have s*x?"
    "No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the next stop. The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you how to get to have s*x with her!"
    "Yeah?", says the hippie. "Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God." The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
    "I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face.
    "Have s*x with me."

    The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal s*x,as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. 'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.

    "Ha-ha," he cries. "I am the hippie!"

    "Ha-ha,"cries the nun. "I am the bus driver!
    Last edited by CTR_Timmy; 23-10-2008 at 01:35 PM.

  5. #5
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    Good idea to start a single thread, that ugly bus joke nearly made me cry with laughter... thats EXACTLY what I'd do

  6. #6
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    whats brown and rhymes with snoop???




















    Dr Dre!!

  7. #7
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    A Blonde, brunnette and a Redhead are deserted on a desert island. while scouting around for food they come across a lamp. The Brunnette rubs the lamp and out pops a genie!

    Genie says " Thank you for helping me being released from this lamp! To thank you all I will grant each one of you a wish!"

    First the Redhead says "I wish I was back in LA with a mega rich football star!"

    Genie clicks his fingers and the Redhead vanishes.

    Brunnette goes next. "I wish I was a movie star in Hollywood"

    Agaian Genie clicks his fingers and the brunette vanishes.

    Finally its the blondes turn. "I wish my two friends were back here with me!"

  8. #8
    HJC Non Paid Member
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    Whats difference between a greyhound and Gary Glitter?

    The Greyhound waits for the hares!

  9. #9
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR_Timmy View Post
    A Blonde, brunnette and a Redhead are deserted on a desert island. while scouting around for food they come across a lamp. The Brunnette rubs the lamp and out pops a genie!

    Genie says " Thank you for helping me being released from this lamp! To thank you all I will grant each one of you a wish!"

    First the Redhead says "I wish I was back in LA with a mega rich football star!"

    Genie clicks his fingers and the Redhead vanishes.

    Brunnette goes next. "I wish I was a movie star in Hollywood"

    Agaian Genie clicks his fingers and the brunette vanishes.

    Finally its the blondes turn. "I wish my two friends were back here with me!"

 

 

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