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  1. #11
    HJC Non Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Hereford, Herefordshire
    Name
    Athene
    Posts
    3,341

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by SkylineGTR View Post
    I was shagging this bird over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

    She said, "Its my husband, Quick, try the back door"!

    Thinking back, I really should have legged it but you dont get offers like that every day !


  2. #12
    HJC Paid Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    portsmouth
    Name
    jimmy
    Posts
    1,137

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by SkylineGTR View Post
    I was shagging this bird over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

    She said, "Its my husband, Quick, try the back door"!

    Thinking back, I really should have legged it but you dont get offers like that every day !



    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    So apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema but, when you do the same for Schindler's List, you're some kind of sick weirdo.
    Made me LOL
    Last edited by Tiger Blood; 22-07-2011 at 10:02 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  3. #13
    HJC Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Waterlooville
    Name
    Paul
    Posts
    3,919

    Default

    Me and a few mates went to Thailand on holiday and on a night out in Bangkok I managed to pull a local Thai bird.

    It was only after she drove me back to my hotel and parked the car first time that I realised I'd made a huge mistake...

  4. #14
    HJC Non Paid Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Mostly at petrol stations
    Name
    Karl
    Posts
    1,064

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Me and a few mates went to Thailand on holiday and on a night out in Bangkok I managed to pull a local Thai bird.

    It was only after she drove me back to my hotel and parked the car first time that I realised I'd made a huge mistake...


    I was in ecstasy, with a smile on my face,
    as my girlfriend moved forwards then backwards...........
    forwards then backwards..........
    back and forth........
    back and forth........
    in and out........
    in and out........
    Her heart was pounding faster,her face was getting flush and she started to grunt and groan. Then she let out an almighty scream!!!!..............




    "I CAN'T PARK THIS ****ING CAR! YOU DO IT YOU SMUG B*****D"!!
    Last edited by Karlos; 23-07-2011 at 10:32 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  5. #15
    HJC Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Waterlooville
    Name
    Paul
    Posts
    3,919

    Default

    How many blondes does it take to change a diaper?

    Ask Hugh Hefner.

  6. #16
    HJC Non Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    sunny ol chichester, come on down
    Name
    kelly
    Posts
    695

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    what more fun than swinging a puppy on a washing line?
    stopping it with a spade.

  7. #17
    HJC Non Paid Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Southampton
    Name
    Harry
    Posts
    95

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    What's 12" and makes a woman scream?










    Cot death

    Don't hate me for that! Got told it the ther day and thought it was awful! Thinking about it that should be in the "the very wrong joke thread"

  8. #18
    HJC Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Hayling Island
    Name
    Will Marrs
    Posts
    7,772

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    To much..?

    What do Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson have in common?

    They both have a 10 year old crack addiction...!

  9. #19
    HJC Paid Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Waterlooville
    Name
    Paul
    Posts
    3,919

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    It's safe to say that there has been an overdose of Amy Winehouse jokes.

    You need to draw the line somewhere.....


    ps. not on the coffee table....
    Last edited by PJ; 25-07-2011 at 02:49 PM.

  10. #20
    HJC Non Paid Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Southampton
    Name
    Adam McCartney
    Posts
    763

    Default Re: The Slightly Wrong Joke Thread

    I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work.
    I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.



    After years of constant requests fell on deaf ears, Valerie finally decided to pay Amy Winehouse a visit. Ignorant bitch wouldn't even come to the door

 

 

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